


xo

by killkissbe



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: Angst, F/M, Future Fic, Gen, Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 11:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6282976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killkissbe/pseuds/killkissbe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, being cordial hurts more than pretending to hate each other ever did. Spoilers for much of S4 so far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	xo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girlnmaroon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlnmaroon/gifts).



> I don't know whether or when I'll write for this fandom again, so I wanted to post this as a tribute to a show I have loved very much, and in particular one of my favourite fictional relationships. I don't know if this has a happy ending, but I believe that it's a hopeful one. ♥

Mindy doesn't fall in love again.

It isn't as if opportunities don't come and go, it isn't if as if she's against the idea of being swept off her feet. After all, so much of her life has been dedicated to the search for The One: her own Sam Baldwin, Joe Fox, Harry Burns, et al.  
  
It just doesn't happen. Before Danny, Mindy had been certain she'd fallen in love. Tom, Josh, Casey. But that, she'd discovered, was the thing about true love. It makes everything else fade into the background, white noise once you've finally experienced clarity. Once you've found the person that maybe doesn't complete you, but sees the cracks in you and loves you all the same.  
  
Danny had been that.  
  
And they still hadn't been able to make it work.  
  
Because sometimes, love wasn't enough, despite what most of the love songs liked to insist. Love wasn't the end of the struggle, it was the start. You could love someone with your whole heart and it still might not work out.  
  
Mindy knows that now better than anyone.  
  
The only love she's sure of, the only love she's discovered is unconditional, is that of her son. He grows up to be the perfect mix of his parents. Smart and chivalrous like his father with a fondness for history, all the while harbouring the unyielding determination, the humour and the loyalty of his mom.  
  
Having a child is the best thing she's done, she's sure of it, but it also means that she can never fully detach from Danny in the way that all of the magazines and self-help books insist she must. Maybe they didn't work out and maybe their love wasn't enough, but they'll always be united by their love of Leo, the ultimate representation of a time when they loved each other so much that they wanted to hold it in their arms.

Sometimes, she can't bear to see him. There are events at school that they both should attend, but Leo's left with the awful decision of which parent to invite because he's smart enough to know that being together breaks the both of them apart. It's a responsibility no child should have to carry and one Mindy hates herself for, but it happens. If he's there, she likely won't be.  
  
There are exceptions, of course. Graduations and grand finals that they'd be remiss not to attend. They're always polite and they never fight, not anymore. Maybe Danny's lips press against Mindy's cheek a little too long, maybe she holds him a little too close.  
  
Somehow, being cordial hurts more than pretending to hate each other ever did.  
  
At birthday parties, there are photographs of a time when they were still together. Danny's arms wrapped around Mindy's as they held Leo for the first time, their subway car miracle that they'd both been so terrified of. Sometimes, at either's apartment, Leo pulls out the albums and begs his parents to tell him stories. Stories from before he can remember, stories he'll cling to when the loneliness of being a child of separation feels too much for him to handle.  
  
Before they can catch their breath, Leo's off to college. The son of two doctors, he shocks them both by going into teaching but the pride that wells in Danny's eyes when he reads the acceptance letter is all the proof Leo needs to know that he's enough, no matter what direction he's headed in. Mindy boasts about him constantly, about how her not-so-baby boy is going to be inspiring the hell out of middle schoolers in no time at all.  
  
She sobs when she drives him to campus. She's been without him before, of course, not just through school camps or sleepovers but because that's part of the decision that a mother makes when splitting from her child's father. That their time will have to be divided in ways their love never can, that there will be times when they don't want to share their son at all.  
  
This is different, though. This is him leaving them both and for so far away, too. It's a loneliness that is too new.  
  
Leo did not inherit his mother's capacity for packing like she's fourteen different people, and so it's not long before all of the boxes are carried into his dorm room. It's simple and Mindy wants to insist that they need to get on a reality show about renovating dorms, or something, but Leo just laughs and hugs her and then she's all waterworks again for the hundredth time that day.  
  
"I love you," she tells him, and tries not to think about how much he looks like his father but does anyway, like always, over and over. "Crazy much. If anyone is mean to you I will send Morgan and his forty dogs after them, okay? I promise."  
  
Leo starts to say that that's really, _really_ not necessary, but then Mindy's just kissing his cheeks and his forehead and telling him that she's a cool mom and she totally packed condoms for him because she sees STDs like, constantly, and they're gross as hell. There's an uncomfortable moment and then they're laughing because they always laugh, even when it hurts.  
  
Too soon she's being ushered out because he has to attend some sort of meeting and Mindy's left on her own, heading out towards her car. It's a beautiful campus and she's evolved enough over the years to start to appreciate the beauty of nature, so for a long while she just stares at the trees and wonders when, exactly, she managed to become the mother of a college freshman.  
  
She has no idea how the time disappeared so fast. She has no idea how she managed to go from being pregnant and scared and feeling Danny's hands against her face as he told her that she was brave.  
  
As if she's conjured him, there's a shadow heading towards her and as she turns, she can't help but smile. "He better make the Dean's List," she tells him.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Danny asks, mouth pulling into a smile. "He's a Castellano-Lahiri. He's going to be at the _top_ of the Dean's List."  
  
"Right," Mindy nods in agreement. "Or no BMW."  
  
Danny just gives her A Look which quickly makes them both laugh, and for a long while they just stand like that, looking at the trees and the sun setting behind it, slowly casting them in the glow of dusk.  
  
"I can't believe we're here," Mindy says, breaking the silence.  
  
"He's a great kid," Danny answers, and Mindy shakes her head.  
  
"No, I... us. I can't believe _we're_ here. That we have a son who's in college and we're not even together anymore. That... was never part of my plan."  
  
"Your plans were always whacky," he reminds her, and of course Mindy starts to cry, again, voice cracking.  
  
"I really thought we'd make it," she says. "I mean, we fought when we hated each other, we fought when we liked each other, why... why couldn't we just keep fighting when we loved each other?"  
  
Danny shakes his head. "It wasn't about the fighting. It was... we wanted different things."  
  
"Did we?"  
  
"I dunno," he admits, reaching up to scratch at his thinning hair. "I don't know. It was a long time ago. It all seems so..."  
  
"...fucked up, now?"  
  
"I was going to say trivial, but that, too."  
  
Mindy smiles, then clears her throat, dropping her gaze. "I hurt you a lot."  
  
"We hurt each other a lot," Danny reminds her.  
  
"And Leo."  
  
"And Leo," he agrees. "That's the part I hate the most. I never... I never wanted to be the father that abandoned his kid."  
  
"You didn't abandon him," Mindy says quickly. "You were always there. Like, all the time. Almost in an _overbearing_ way."  
  
Danny shoots her another look but it's with no heat, and they both smile again. It's not the polite smiles of their past, the ones offered in an attempt to make everything less awkward.  
  
"You know," he says. "My kid's in college now. I have all of this free time and, Min, I dunno what to do with it. What about you?"  
  
Her smile broadens into a grin. "Tequila shots?"  
  
"Coffee?"

"With Baileys?"  
  
Danny rolls his eyes. "You've got a problem," he tells her.  
  
"We both have an insane amount of problems. Let's just pray our son didn't inherit the worst ones."  
  
"Coffee?" Danny repeats, and Mindy nods.  
  
The sun is in their eyes as they walk towards her car, fingers intertwined.  
  



End file.
